Monday was staying at home and chionging for Econs. Well, it was good having Gabriel around to guide me and studying didn't felt so boring for once. But sigh, I gave up halfway too much for my little brains to take. Menses is coming I swear, I got irritated for no reason. It's hard man, really. Having to control my emotions is something that I've been trying to master. I can but my brains doesn't coordinate well with my mouth. It seems like I keep saying the wrong thing :(
Today was pool with Zhee zhee zhee baby baby baby and Eugene. Haha they are so nice I swear. They waited for me to finish UT when they themselves don't have UT. Sigh, these days friends like this are hard to get man! Robin taught me my stands again, as usual backache. But at least for once, I know I really put down all my fear to try. I realised I don't back out on draw shots anymore.
I think I'm weird when I'm feeling down I got the anxiety to blog. It appears that this season is out-of-love season. E37G people are out of love and so are the rest. While I was on the bus home, I thought of something. Have you ever thought why you didn't get chosen or you got out love? It's just God's way of telling you that this one isn't the right one and that there are many more out there! Yeah I'm trying to act all love counsellor but you know, humans are weird. They can console anybody but themselves. I saw the place that we used to eat at and the bus stop that we waited to save money and wait for bus to come but it was too long that we gave up. All these memories seems so far away and I suddenly forgot how you smell or even look. As much as I try, it feels like my brains doesn't want me to remember it. Sigh, life is so hard. I miss having how it feels like to have all those stupid chats and webcams with you. Maybe it's just impossible to even stay as friends. But why? Is it really so hard to have good guy friends or good friends? I can't seem to figure out what you're thinking anymore. Just never knew that it will hurt this way and I wished things would go back the same. I just don't know how to fix it anymore.